The Confident Voice Coach

Vocal Tension And What Happens When You Relax...

I was listening to a client today. Her voice was so furred and dry that it cracked and squeaked towards the end of her sentences. A sure sign of massive tension. It betrayed a history of anxiety probably going back to childhood.

Were your childhood days the 'happiest days of your life'? For many children, they can be filled with worry - both big and small worry, especially if they learnt that the outside world was dangerous and scary. And perhaps not just the outside world either. Perhaps they picked up on tensions within their own family members too.

Children are imitative. Until the age of 8 their brains are generating Alpha waves which means that they are profoundly suggestible. Wide open. Every experience, every event, every atmosphere, spoken or unspoken leaves a deep and indelible impression on their growing psyches. And if those experiences, events and atmospheres were fraught, then those impressions will mould tension into how children hold themselves, how they speak and the language they use.

Because your voice is a reflection of you. And as you grow, you unconsciously adopt these patterns. They are familiar to you. They become difficult to alter, even if they're uncomfortable or unpleasant to listen to. And since your voice reflects you, when you make changes to your voice, inevitably you are likely to need to change the rest of you as well.

Which is why I almost always start to work in voice coaching on helping my client to learn how to physically relax. When I work in hypnosis with my client, sometimes they emerge looking overwhelmed and baffled. They're overwhelmed because they aren't used to feeling so blissful - and baffled because they often didn't realise just how tense they really were.

It gives me alot of pleasure just to see that process of unfoldment. And also to listen to the subtle and more obvious changes in the voice immediately afterwards. The breathing is much easier so there is a more sustained sound. The sound which had been harsh with tension can become more soft and resonant. The range of notes increases and the voice is more musical. The pace of delivery can slow up and sound more steady. And the person looks far, far more comfortable inside their skin, which reflects in their language and body language.

They leave my clinic looking radiant.

What's In The Way?

Your throat is the gateway of all you want to express. Whenever you were hungry, tired, frightened, angry, lonely as a baby, you expressed these feelings through your throat via your larynx. Your mother became well trained (if she wanted to be sensitive to your needs) in interpreting what your cries meant. Everything was clear and truthful.

However, as you started growing up, sometimes you expressed things that weren't socially acceptable. Maybe you embarrassed your parents with your honesty - " Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained wisdom". Maybe your family evaded emotional outbursts or denied or suppressed their feelings. So they greeted your feelings with disapproval or worse, laughter. Immediately this sets up tension within you. It's as though that expressive gateway has been closed.

If that gateway gets closed, then your voice gets distorted with tension. If this gateway keeps on closing, it gets stuck. Emotions will be trapped behind that half closed gate. Your shoulders, your diaphragm, your jaw, your throat will carry that tension too. Your posture will become cramped and misaligned. Your body language is inhibited. You learn to be self conscious. You are out of touch with your feelings.

However, to trained ears, your voice and body betray everything.

Welcome!!!!

I had a look at my visitor statistics just now and discovered I have had my first reader!

Welcome to my blog site. I hope you found useful ideas and tips on creating your most successful voice in business! And welcome to you, wonderful reader for checking out this site.

1. You'll get an outline of what a great voice sounds like - a voice that is persuasive, compelling and commanding.
2. Then you and I can explore what are the pitfalls, what's in the way
3. How to get to achieve that wonderful voice you have within you.

Let's face it, when you were born, you weren't conscious of what you sounded like. You had no trouble whatsoever at expressing your feelings and thoughts. You were direct and clear about your needs. Of course you were! And by George, you were compelling and persuasive and commanding!

And if your mother was astute and keen to find out what your needs were, she became more and more clever about figuring out what you were expressing.

So what went wrong?

Your First Priority To A Great Voice Revealed

Your voice tells your listener a great deal about who you are. It reveals more than you know. It tells them about your background, your passions and especially your tension. Had you ever thought about releasing your voice from it's grip?

Does your voice sound high and tight? Tension has tightened its noose around your throat.  Suppressed whisper or a voice that shouts? Tension is limiting your breath control and again, strangling your throat. Stress worms its way into your voice. You pick up anger or fear in a voice that is monotonous - or clipped so that the sound is cut off before the end of sentences.

Your voice reveals where you lack confidence, when you're under prepared and unsure or emotionally vulnerable.

And here's the crucial point - when your listener hears this tension, they tense up too. They can get restless or defensive. They make judgements about your credibility. Their body language closes up - like their minds. They've stopped listening to you.

You've failed to get your message across.

Try out these stress releasing exercises. If you practise them on a regular basis, you will be amazed at the difference in your voice - and the change in how people react to you.

• Your throat's tight? Yawn widely and then immediately swallow. This stretches the muscles in your throat - it massages and releases them.
• A problem with your jaw? Stretch open and then chew as though you had a large wad of bubble gum in your mouth. This is really useful to practise before presentations (in the loo, of course!).
• Your shoulders? Just lift them up to your ears as you breath in. Hold it. Then breath out and drop them at the same time. (Shoulders are often where you carry your burdens - your guilts and responsibilities. Practising this exercise will help you feel like Atlas after Hercules gave him a hand for a bit).
• Slow down and take a breather. Saaaaay 5 minutes in every hour? Please? Time out? Every day?
• Have a good shake-out. Start with your hands. Shake them as though you had just finished the washing-up and were shaking droplets of water from them. Then make it bigger and shake from your elbow. That's good, now from your shoulders. Then whilst still shaking from your shoulders, stand on one foot and shake the other - and keep swapping until you are jigging up and down! When you stop, you'll be feeling tingling - as though your energy is moving throughout your body.
• Close your eyes. Stretch your mouth into a smile. It doesn't matter if it's artificial, it'll still stimulate you to produce endorphins - the feel great, stress-busting hormones. Just keep smiling whilst that smile lights up your heart, lungs and other vital organs. Let it light up your mind. Just as you are smiling externally, so you are smiling internally too. Your whole body. Even your cells are smiling.

Have fun - and keep smiling!