I was listening to a client today. Her voice was so furred and dry that it cracked and squeaked towards the end of her sentences. A sure sign of massive tension. It betrayed a history of anxiety probably going back to childhood.
Were your childhood days the 'happiest days of your life'? For many children, they can be filled with worry - both big and small worry, especially if they learnt that the outside world was dangerous and scary. And perhaps not just the outside world either. Perhaps they picked up on tensions within their own family members too.
Children are imitative. Until the age of 8 their brains are generating Alpha waves which means that they are profoundly suggestible. Wide open. Every experience, every event, every atmosphere, spoken or unspoken leaves a deep and indelible impression on their growing psyches. And if those experiences, events and atmospheres were fraught, then those impressions will mould tension into how children hold themselves, how they speak and the language they use.
Because your voice is a reflection of you. And as you grow, you unconsciously adopt these patterns. They are familiar to you. They become difficult to alter, even if they're uncomfortable or unpleasant to listen to. And since your voice reflects you, when you make changes to your voice, inevitably you are likely to need to change the rest of you as well.
Which is why I almost always start to work in voice coaching on helping my client to learn how to physically relax. When I work in hypnosis with my client, sometimes they emerge looking overwhelmed and baffled. They're overwhelmed because they aren't used to feeling so blissful - and baffled because they often didn't realise just how tense they really were.
It gives me alot of pleasure just to see that process of unfoldment. And also to listen to the subtle and more obvious changes in the voice immediately afterwards. The breathing is much easier so there is a more sustained sound. The sound which had been harsh with tension can become more soft and resonant. The range of notes increases and the voice is more musical. The pace of delivery can slow up and sound more steady. And the person looks far, far more comfortable inside their skin, which reflects in their language and body language.
They leave my clinic looking radiant.
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