Gravitas
A dictionary definition of
gravitas is “a serious and solemn attitude or way of behaving”. To the
ancient Roman republic, it meant dignity, seriousness and duty, one of
the several virtues expected of men to possess.. However, currently in
my view, it’s not about taking oneself seriously - it’s about taking
what one does seriously.
Why bother to cultivate it?
In order
to convince someone in business to buy from you and especially promote
your interests, the decision maker is likely to need to know, like and
trust you. Cultivating gravitas is a compelling business strategy for
establishing credibility, respect and trust. Ultimately this leads to
increased profile for you and business for your company.
1. Appearance
Take
care to look the part. An interesting study revealed that if a vet
dressed ‘down’, they were rated as low in effectiveness. However if
they dressed in a white coat and wore a stethoscope (however
superfluous), they were rated as highly effective! Go to expensive
hairdressers to get the best advice on how your hair should look. Go to
an image consultant to match your colouring, your style and the context
of the clothes you are wearing. Go to the gym. Buy expensive shoes and
keep them polished – people DO notice. Make sure your nails are
carefully manicured. Make your appearance looks better than expectation
to make an impact.
2. Occupy your space
Imagine the 18”
the British traditionally claim around the body. To increase a sense of
‘presence’ when you walk into a room, increase the space around you to
include the room and enfold everyone in it. To create energy within
you, imagine that you have a secret that no one else knows and go into
the room thinking this. On entering the room, pause in the doorway and
look round. Then move forward towards a group where the body language
suggests they are open to others joining them. Even when you think that
people are turned away from you, their peripheral vision will catch
your entrance and make assumptions about what to make of you.
3. Value your words
Be
sparing and measured in your speech and make every word count. People
with presence say relatively little. Though everything they say
counts
– valuing quality over quantity. You have no need to raise your voice –
in fact, you will have people leaning forward to catch your words if
you speak firmly yet quietly. And according to research, for men, the
female voice is more complex and more difficult to hear and understand
and
women’s higher pitch can be interpreted as subordinate. So for women to
gain authority in the workplace, they need to deepen their vocal
delivery and make it more deliberate.
4 Hold the silence
Before
you speak, hold the pause to ensure others’ attention. When you have
finished speaking, stop talking. You communicate very powerfully by
your silence.
5. Set the mood
Before you enter the room,
focus on and imagine how you want everyone in the room to feel. People
are only too willing to be guided by you so set the tone and mood. You
will gain the influence to set the agenda for the rest of the meeting.
6. Act ‘powerfully’
Imagine
a triangle. Put in a horizontal line near the apex denoting the top 7%.
That is the amount of conscious awareness people have of what you say.
However, the 93% below the line is the unconscious mind absorbing your
body language and vocal delivery that will determine how they really
see you. Make sure your unconscious signals are powerful: your
movements and delivery deliberate and you use the major key in your
voice to convey certainty.
7. Feeling disempowered?
In a
situation where you are likely to feel unsure or lacking in knowledge
–and especially if you are talking with someone who is an expert,
change the role that you are playing. Ask searching and challenging
questions to keep them thinking or give incisive summaries of what you
have heard to make it clear you are still powerfully attentive. If you
get interrupted when speaking, look irritated and immediately cut in to
repeat what you were saying. And ladies, cut down on smiling. It can be
seen as placatory and
submissive. Make your smile the reward.
8. Give your undivided attention
Give
eye contact and quieten the internal chatter. Make space to absorb
what’s being said and especially HOW it’s communicated. Become
consciously aware of the subtext of body language and vocal tone. It
will give you a lot of information as to how you want to respond. Then
make your response deliberate and targeted.
9. Note taking
Expect
to take notes - you are valuing what you hear and are taking the
information to digest at a later date. However do not scribble
furiously – others are likely to dismiss you as the minute-taker,
particularly if you are a woman.
10. And finally - don’t expect to be liked!
Having
gravitas will gain respect from those around you. Gaining respect is
far more valuable in business than being loved. It gives you instant
credibility so you get taken seriously. Businesspeople – and staff
members need to know, like and trust you to follow your lead. Having
established respect and credibility, building rapport later will
encourage them to want to like you.
Email me sarah@anrah.co.uk or phone 07939 261743 if you want to follow up on any thoughts you have about increasing your gravitas. I’d be happy to discuss things with you.
