The Confident Voice Coach

The Intersection between worlds...

I went to a 'Psychogenic Voice Day' put on by an association of Speech and Language Therapists in London last Friday.

Now on the face of it, that sounds as exciting as stale sandwiches eaten on a dull day next to an industrial canal! However I found it electrifying. Yes, I know, no accounting for tastes. They had 4 speakers representing 4 different approaches to the treatment of emotional problems associated with Voice problems. There was a Freudian who also worked on massaging the larynx, a SLT who was trained in Brief Therapy, a SLT trained in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and the last, a Jungian psycho-analyst.

I had been very sleepy and nodded off throughout the first 3 talks. I was wondering whether it had been a waste of time. Then the Jungian stood up to speak.

She stood up and didn't use PowerPoint!!!! Already she interested me. She said that she was just going to read her paper without any accompanyment. She described that she worked with professional singers who had been referred to her by their GPs and SLTs.

She talked about how vulnerable a position singers are in when they perform. They were expected to let go of their voices and become spontaneous and creative. And yet they also have to abide by the most exacting technique and discipline. She said that they had to continually wrestle with this paradox throughout a performance.

The therapist also said that the voice, the throat, is at the intersection between the internal and the external in our bodies. The internal describes the torso, the head and heart. The external being the shoulders and especially the arms and hands. The arms and hands reach out into the world outside.

The voice has to express and encompass both these worlds. And so singers have to encompass both worlds too. The pressure on their voices can get intense. And can break down.

I had a friend with me - a fellow hypnotherapist and voice coach (who tends to work with actors) and we had to sit in a Costa afterwards for several hours discussing our thoughts on the day.

Voiceover heaven!

Big excitement in this household! A friend of mine who runs a website video business (a fully trained camerawoman, producer and editor), Gill Gee (formerly of Vidibiz) is asking for me to supply her with my CD show reel of voiceovers so that she can play it to potential customers for her video website business.

She tells me that  many of her clients, however competent they are at what they do, can sound dreadful when presenting their business on a website. So here's where I come in.

I speak in my warm, deep, authoritative (that inspires belief and confidence apparently!), contralto voice waxing enthusiastic about their product or service and suddenly the visitor to their site sees the light. A no brainer!

Words At Work - "Can You Hear Me At The Back?"

I was touched and excited the other day to be asked by my Marketing Consultant friend, Chantal Cornelius to write a piece for her newsletter Scribbles.

Chantal is organising a big 'do' on June 21st 'Driving Your Business' at the Formula One Conference Centre where the Williams team are based in Grove, near Wantage in Oxfordshire. She has invited me to put on a workshop to help delegates develop more persuasive, authoritative and compelling voices in sales meetings and at networking events.

I'm really excited since there'll be around 100 or so there and we can have real fun doing some tuning up of our voices together!

Anyhow, this is what I wrote for her: -

Words at Work - Can You Hear Me at the Back?

By guest writer Sarah McCloughry.

Well, you carefully prepared your questions. You listened closely to what the other person is saying. Your replies captured their attention. They seemed to hang on your every word. Then what? You know how some people come up with the answers but they don’t hear from their contacts again? When they open their mouths they drive people away. 38% of all communication is not in what you say, but in how you say it. Obvious really, but to communicate effectively, you need to be heard.

Depending on the networking meeting, you may be talking in a hall with 40 – 50 others. The noise level is high. Do you find that people keep asking you to repeat what you’ve said? Maybe your voice is too soft or too quiet? You may be nervous. If your listener’s eyes flick away too frequently or their head keeps turning, you are losing them. Are you are boring them? Maybe it’s because your tone is flat, monotonous, harsh or too high pitched.

So how do you connect with your listener? Think about your posture. If you are standing confidently, your listener will take notice. There’s much more space in your diaphragm to breathe easily. Relax your shoulders and stand like royalty!

Second, relax and take a deep breath. Your breath is the fuel that your voice runs on. If you have plenty of gas, you will be able to turn up the volume – it helps when others talk around you. Try lowering your tone and varying the tune pattern in your voice.

And, once you’ve started, pause. Your listener needs to absorb your words of wisdom. This also gives them a chance to respond. You create the chance of a two-way conversation. As you know, two-way conversations create lasting business relationships, which get you quality referrals and sales.

To find out more email sarah@anrah.co.uk and Sarah will send you her "Hot Confident Voice Tips!" Meet Sarah McCloughry, The Confident Voice Coach when she is presenting a workshop at the Driving Your Business event on 21 June at the Williams F1 Conference Centre (see the right hand column.)

What's In The Way?

Your throat is the gateway of all you want to express. Whenever you were hungry, tired, frightened, angry, lonely as a baby, you expressed these feelings through your throat via your larynx. Your mother became well trained (if she wanted to be sensitive to your needs) in interpreting what your cries meant. Everything was clear and truthful.

However, as you started growing up, sometimes you expressed things that weren't socially acceptable. Maybe you embarrassed your parents with your honesty - " Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained wisdom". Maybe your family evaded emotional outbursts or denied or suppressed their feelings. So they greeted your feelings with disapproval or worse, laughter. Immediately this sets up tension within you. It's as though that expressive gateway has been closed.

If that gateway gets closed, then your voice gets distorted with tension. If this gateway keeps on closing, it gets stuck. Emotions will be trapped behind that half closed gate. Your shoulders, your diaphragm, your jaw, your throat will carry that tension too. Your posture will become cramped and misaligned. Your body language is inhibited. You learn to be self conscious. You are out of touch with your feelings.

However, to trained ears, your voice and body betray everything.

Your First Priority To A Great Voice Revealed

Your voice tells your listener a great deal about who you are. It reveals more than you know. It tells them about your background, your passions and especially your tension. Had you ever thought about releasing your voice from it's grip?

Does your voice sound high and tight? Tension has tightened its noose around your throat.  Suppressed whisper or a voice that shouts? Tension is limiting your breath control and again, strangling your throat. Stress worms its way into your voice. You pick up anger or fear in a voice that is monotonous - or clipped so that the sound is cut off before the end of sentences.

Your voice reveals where you lack confidence, when you're under prepared and unsure or emotionally vulnerable.

And here's the crucial point - when your listener hears this tension, they tense up too. They can get restless or defensive. They make judgements about your credibility. Their body language closes up - like their minds. They've stopped listening to you.

You've failed to get your message across.

Try out these stress releasing exercises. If you practise them on a regular basis, you will be amazed at the difference in your voice - and the change in how people react to you.

• Your throat's tight? Yawn widely and then immediately swallow. This stretches the muscles in your throat - it massages and releases them.
• A problem with your jaw? Stretch open and then chew as though you had a large wad of bubble gum in your mouth. This is really useful to practise before presentations (in the loo, of course!).
• Your shoulders? Just lift them up to your ears as you breath in. Hold it. Then breath out and drop them at the same time. (Shoulders are often where you carry your burdens - your guilts and responsibilities. Practising this exercise will help you feel like Atlas after Hercules gave him a hand for a bit).
• Slow down and take a breather. Saaaaay 5 minutes in every hour? Please? Time out? Every day?
• Have a good shake-out. Start with your hands. Shake them as though you had just finished the washing-up and were shaking droplets of water from them. Then make it bigger and shake from your elbow. That's good, now from your shoulders. Then whilst still shaking from your shoulders, stand on one foot and shake the other - and keep swapping until you are jigging up and down! When you stop, you'll be feeling tingling - as though your energy is moving throughout your body.
• Close your eyes. Stretch your mouth into a smile. It doesn't matter if it's artificial, it'll still stimulate you to produce endorphins - the feel great, stress-busting hormones. Just keep smiling whilst that smile lights up your heart, lungs and other vital organs. Let it light up your mind. Just as you are smiling externally, so you are smiling internally too. Your whole body. Even your cells are smiling.

Have fun - and keep smiling!